- Do not look at what happened as if it was a family tragedy. Like any other disease, one can also recover from alcoholism.
- Do not moan, preach or insist on repeating words of advice. Most likely the person has already gone through all the words he or she would hear from you and repeated them a thousand times in his or her head. Therefore, it is likely that the person will turn a deaf ear and ignore you completely. With your insistence you are likely to increase the need to lie or make the person promise things that he or she will not be able to keep.
- Be careful not to use the “I know more than you” attitude or use words such as “look what you have done to us”. It is also possible to give that same impression without even uttering a word. An alcoholic person is so sensitive to such attitude that he or she can pick up such vibes even by the way the other person is looking at him or her or by any changes in the other person’s mood.
- Never use words such as “if you really love me”. Once the crave for alcohol becomes compulsive, it is a disease that cannot be controlled by reasoning. Such words have no effect other than to increase anxiety and the sense of guilt that already exists in the person.
- Do not threaten - unless you are sure and convinced to carry out the threat. You may need to take specific actions to protect your children. When you threaten and do nothing afterwards, you are making it clear in an alcoholic’s mind that it’s all talk and no action after all.
- You do not have to hide or put away any alcohol bottles in the house as this will put the alcoholic person into a state of despair. Ultimately, he or she will still find another way to acquire the alcohol he or she desperately craves.
- Do not let the alcoholic person persuade you to drink with him or her on the pretext that he or she would drink less. It rarely happens that way. Should you comply, you will be approving of the alcohol in front of him or her and thus weaken any possibility of seeking help.
- Do not envy any kind of help the alcoholic person chooses as treatment for his or her drinking problem. It is easy to think that the family’s love and the security at home are enough incentives to heal and recover from this addiction. Often the path to healing lies in a desire to find and respect oneself and sometimes the person does not find this within the family core. Don't fall into the trap of feeling left out when the alcoholic person prefers to turn to someone else for help.
- Never expect signs of success right from the start. Each disease has its own course of convalescence. The process of recovery may include occasional relapses, setbacks and plenty of tension and mood swings as well.
- Do not try to protect the alcoholic person from any compromising situations he or she might encounter. This kind of obsessive protection pushes the person into drinking again. He or she must somehow find his or her own way to say “no” to alcohol. For example, when you are socializing and insist with other people not to offer drinks, you are likely to rekindle feelings of shame and disgust in the alcoholic person.
- Don’t try to do what the person should do himself or herself or do yourself what is expected from him or her. This is his or her journey to recovery and therefore you are only there as support.
- Show the alcoholic that you love him or her. Give your full support and show the person that you understand all that he or she is going through while on the road to recovery.
