In parenting, when the parents are overly authoritative or protective, it is likely that the result will have the opposite effect. Very often, the result of such parenting would be that the child builds an attitude and a reaction that can lead to all sorts of things that can go totally against the parents’ expectations and wishes. Therefore, parental emotions should always be linked to good judgement and values. Parents need to be clear when they express themselves and show their affection in a way that children understand them well and do not misinterpret them.
Parents should be confident and sure of their decisions, as it may happen that they pass on this same insecure feeling on to their own children without being aware of doing so. This sense of insecurity in children will surely contribute in making wrong choices in their future.
Excessive ambition in parents also creates tension in a family environment; tension that creates unnecessary stress and often pose a great threat on the health and unity of the family. In a family environment where such tensions exist, children find it difficult to make good decisions which can help them find balance in their life. It is a fact that in every family there will be incidents that will make every parent feel a little angry, but parents should never exaggerate in their reactions. Contrary to this, they should not ignore these incidents and act as if nothing had happened.
Parents should always be responsible for their actions despite the tension created around them. Sometimes children become aggressive towards their parents. Some children are capable of using the threat ‘weapon’ which frightens some parents, who will in turn go back on their own decisions when they should not have done so. But when parents are convincing and remain adamant about the way decisions have been taken, this usually does not happen.
It is important for parents to understand that, when it comes to taking a decision about an important choice in their lives, children always keep in mind how their parents might react to the news or to the action already taken. It is therefore very important that from a very early age, parents should, with love, wisdom and great patience, clearly explain to their children the values of life and the limits which are expected from them. For children to grow healthy, mentally strong and mature, they need clear and consistent guidelines from their early years and throughout their upbringing.
Good parenting must lead to the building of a strong character, a character which when on its own, reasons in a way that one must not simply act in the same way as others are doing without first evaluating if it is right or safe for oneself to do so. Also, a sound upbringing is built on certain values that teach us about denying and sacrificing ourselves from what we might want at the moment. There are many material things in the world that we would want, but not everything that exists can be good for us, at least not necessarily when, where and when we want.
These are just a few tips on good parenting. The list is however never-ending. When one choses to create a family, one must also understand that, first and foremost, one needs to take full responsibility for one’s own decisions - to be a good parent, to acknowledge what one wants and appreciate one’s own life but most of all, understands the reason why the decision of bringing children into the world was taken. We must understand that children are the result of a decision taken by the parents, as well as that of the society created or otherwise tolerated by the parents themselves.
